Maqdananda, The Psychic Attorney
Late night infomercials driving you crazy? So badly made, so poorly acted, selling unbelievable stuff?
For April Fool's Day in 1994, Joey Skaggs decided to make a 30 second television commercial to satirize the proliferation of both New Age psychics and ambulance chasing attorneys. He created a character called Maqdananda, the Psychic Attorney, wrote a script and produced a spot. The commercial ran 40 times throughout the week on CNN Headline News in Hawaii.
Nobody questioned its veracity. Even though the attorney was dressed like a swami and sat cross-legged, surrounded by candles, incense and crystals. The legal guru said, "Why deal with the legal system without knowing the outcome beforehand? Let me tell you whether to sue or settle, if you'll win or lose. I use non-traditional techniques to determine the outcome of legal decisions."
While he spoke, graphics scrolled across the screen that said, "tarot, hypnosis, channeling, numerology, astrology, voodoo, jinxing, aura reading, miracles, astral projection, Chakra balancing, visualizations, I Ching, yoga, crystal power, blessings."
Maqdananda then continued, "Have you been the victim of a psychic injustice? Are you suffering from psychic surgery malpractice? Do you wish to re-negotiate contracts made during past lives?"
Another graphic scroll read, "Accidental Injury or Death, Medical Malpractice, Criminal Defense, Divorce, Wills and Trusts, Zoning."
And finally, he said, "There is no statute of limitations in the psychic realm. Let me use my psychic abilities to help you rectify injustices of the past and present. No fee unless I win your case. Call me."
The phone number at the end of the spot was 1-808-UCA-DADA.
Dozens of calls came in to an answering machine with a message that said "I knew you'd call. "The machine collected all the incoming inquiries. None were answered.
© 1997 Joey Skaggs